true

it wasnt easy having a life change -attachment with marriott. time management was a huge factor and followed by the stress inserts. yet, i couldnt blame u for not understanding. i was too jaded to share with u, and u, being a stranger to what it feels like.

the comfort was never the right one, that i turned to my co-workers. this was when u said "the day i turned to my friends, was the end of us." u said that, yet we decided to move on.

i tried all my mights to head back to where we were,; which was far from possible. i could never give my full attention like i used to, and u could never understand like u use to.

we both have changed so much that everytime we're near, it feels so far away.

for all the things u've said, unintentionally or intentionally, they are as stubborn as i am, they just refuses to leave. every little single word, they still play back like nightmares.

time again, and again, we moved on, thinking that everything will be history. secretly, i remembered every event like a textbook back in school.

it was tedious understanding why. why was i the one always saying sorry when the wrong didnt lie with me. "i've explained myself, u can take it or leave it" was what u're famous for. "sorry for not being understanding enough" was what i'm so used to saying.

tolerence had came to such limits that i dont feel sad anymore. u have numbed me, that living without u is just like a normal day.

the way u yelled on the line, not even giving me a chance to explain was what no one had ever done to me. no matter how horrible one may be, they NEVER hang up on me once at all. but u did that twice.

that was our final straw. its the fact that no matter how much lovely actions shown, it just takes one terrifying event to smack the good ones away.

its not right of me to say that u still have alot to understand about females, yet this just sounds so right. i've never rushed u into treating me (or us, the ladies) the right way. nor will i be right to say that i'm the perfect girlfriend.

we started to drift away, u having fun with ur friends through drinking sessions. during such sessions, u can disappear from 9pm till the next 3pm; while there i am worrying so much for u. all u said was "i'm sorry baby. i was drunk". sound firmilar to u? yes, this happen for 4 times in a month's time.

"u're the one who wanted me to hang out with me friends, now u're blaming me for it?!"

yes i did encourage u to hangout with ur friends, but i've nv mentioned that u can have fun all night, and forget about me. twice, u said u'll be heading over to my place. after several missed calls and textes, i gave up.

"i was drunk, and was totally knocked out. i didnt mean to worry u so much. if u still cant accept my explaination, i'll pack up and leave."

leave, leave all u want if u think its right. leave all u want if u think that waiting for someone who disappeared from 9pm till 3pm, again and again.

i'm sick of all these nonsense that its affecting my performance in work. co-workers all said that i should just let him go and move on.

yet i tried again. maybe, we tried again.

and we failed. how loud u yelled at me through the phone, was how far u've driven me into.

friends knew about the breakup, and asked if i was hanging on fine.

better than fine
finer than yesterday
happier than usual

no matter how, u'll be a root, stuck deep within, but dead. nothing will ever happen, for now.

{ 01 March 2008{20:54}